Friday, May 27, 2005

Tapeworms, Just Who Do They Think They Are?

And WHERE do they think they are?
....Its dark so it could be Scotland but it's and warm so it isn't..... Has there been a powercut in the hotel?...... Why can't I touch my toes? Room service is very good but the food tastes like shit. This sleeping bag is very thin-and why does it keep pulsating? Will I always be here or is there a light at the end of the tunnel? .......I can see white, looks like porcelain...what IS that at the end of the tunnel?

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Open Your Suitcase

Things banned by New Zealand customs

1.The Patagonian toothfish
2. Rubber hot water bottles

There is a specific NZ law aimd at unscrupulous criminals trying to smuggle in dangerous bed warming devices

Monday, April 04, 2005

Pope Update

The Pope continues to improve. He is 'alert' says Vatican sources but needs 'lots of rest.' He appears to have solved this problem by resting with his eyes open.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Pope Update

The Vatican reports, the Pope is 'calm, serene, lucid and has just been to the gym' -though according to insider sources, he HAS cut down his usual number of abdominal crunches and bench presses.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Doctor Second Opinion

You won't believe this, but I took my blog to another doctor today for a second opinion. He did loads and loads of tests then said things might not be so bad after all! The problem is only likely to be serious-or at worst fatal- if the blog gets over excited. Otherwise, he said, it could have a lifespan of many many years. Great news! hooray! Yippee!! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!
HHOORAAAAAA....................................................
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How To Jump Off A Cliff August 2004-February 2005.
R.I.P

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Doctor

I've had to take my blog to the doctor today. It was very bad news. This blog is suffering from a terminal disease. It's hard to take in. Today is sunny and warm, birds are singing, the keyboard is bathed in a lovely golden light. Everything seems fine. But, so I'm told, the blog has only a short while left to live. No flowers please.

Quest Updated, Updated

My hunch was nearly right, 17 is a prime number. I'd guessed 18 I was only one out which is hardly anything unless you're in a relationship in which case you're suddenly on your own.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Quest Update

I'm getting good feelings about the number18.More research is needed.My abacus is melting. I'll get back to you.